They say that people don’t change. I believe that people CAN change, if they set their minds to it.
In this life we are given multiple opportunities to create change. Sometimes we are only given 1 shot. We need to be able to be flexible enough to invite change. How we set our priorities, find our motivation, create the habit, and finding balance in our daily lives ultimately leads us to the big picture.
“The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.”
In my life, I have had multiple opportunities for big change. Getting married! This was the most amazing event. Waking up early, doing my hair and makeup, being sealed to my eternal companion for all time and eternity, family photos, food, dancing… And so much more! The emotion I felt on this day was so wonderful that words can hardly describe it. Not only was I joining my life with my best friend Michael, I was creating a new path for adventure, excitement, family, and happiness.
–This is one type of change. Where we have a life event that changes how we live, our disposition, and our support system.
The skinny girl problem. Everyone thinks you must be in ‘shape’ because you aren’t curvy or overweight. Well, no. That isn’t how it works. Just because someone is skinny doesn’t mean they are active or in shape. I was sick of how weak I felt. I could hardly do laps in the gym without feeling like dying. In about grade 10 I started to do regular workouts at home by myself, or with my best friend. Once high school was done and I was attending college, I started running. This was my stress releaser – and still is! I also attended the college gym everyday for regular fitness routines and light weight lifting. I have never felt more alive and active than at this point in my life. I am excited to get back into the swing of things after being pregnant and having a baby.
–This is another type of change. By making the choice to stay physically active and live a healthier lifestyle, we can invite happiness into our lives in a new and exciting way.
Having toxicity in your marriage. Michael and I have been married about 2 years now. We have a 1-year old son at home, who is the love and the silly in our lives. (I encourage you to check out my other blog posts related to life, family, and resolutions). When B was only a few months old, post-partum depression hit me like a ton of bricks. I was so miserable some days, I would cry at everything. I felt like a complete failure.
Until I consciously made the CHOICE that I was no longer going to be ‘that person’, I felt hopeless. My husband was the best support in my life and helped me see through the fog. Since then, I have kept some behaviors that I had when I was depressed. I would pick on Mike for the smallest things, criticize his flaws, and make him feel inadequate. One day I decided I was sick of apologizing to him every other minute. He deserved better!
I needed to start treating my husband with respect, equality, and unconditional love. I was cutting out the toxic behaviors in my life, so that my husband would feel the love that I have for him. So that he could learn and grow beside me, despite his flaws and my own.
–This type of change in our lives is eliminating toxicity. Getting rid of behaviors, objects, sometimes people, or thoughts that are destroying our potential.
I suggest getting a piece of paper and a pencil, and answering each of these questions as best you can.
How can we make needed changes in our life?
What are your priorities?
What are the things in life that you value the most? It could be: family, friends, health, church, job, financial security, your pet, or even your cell phone. Deciding what is most important to you will help you be able to see the areas in your life that need change.
-Do you spend enough time with your family or children?
-Are there spiritual goals that you have been seeking?
-Is there stability needed in your rough and challenged life?
-Do you want to be more physically active?
-Are you trying to save money for a vehicle or a new house?
“The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.”
What is your motivation?
One of the biggest motivators in our crazy and fast paced world is money. When it comes to our goals in life, money isn’t always a factor. The reason to get into better shape isn’t going to be about the money. Unless you become a yoga instructor.
What makes you get out of bed in the morning? I like to get up every morning with the intent of making the most out of my day. We are given 1 body in this life, and each day is a blessing.
Waking up because we have to go to a miserable job with a measly income, doesn’t sound that appealing to me. There will be times in our lives where we just do things. We must take care and provide for our families, no matter how hard or lousy the job. If this is the case, make the other areas of your life exciting and happy.
Finding your motivation might take some soul searching. Try to learn more about yourself. Discover the hobbies that make you happy, the food that helps you feel good about your body, the happiness the extra time spent with your family brings you.
Change makes me excited! I love packing up and moving, reorganizing my room or B’s toy bins, I also love discovering new adventures and learning more about myself and my family. This is most often my motivation. With change, comes an unknown happiness.
“Motivation is a fire from within. If someone else tries to light that fire under you, chances are it will burn very briefly.”
Do you change your goal to accommodate your life, or do you change your life to achieve your goal?
You know what is best for you. God also knows what is best for you. Sometimes your partner, your family or a friend might know you well enough to help. One important thing about goal setting and fulfilling, is confiding in those around you. Sometimes we can be our own harshest critiques, and that’s why an outside, third party perspective can be a great tool. They can help us recognize our potential and good qualities in tough times or new intimidating challenges.
Make a list of things that you need. If you need more time, money or motivation, then change your life to achieve your goal.
Make room in your life for the priorities that you mapped out in question 1.
If you want to save up for a new car, but don’t save money aside, and you don’t stop buying so much fast food, then you will never achieve your goal. Setting up a savings account with a goal of putting $50 a month towards your new vehicle, making meal prep at home so you don’t have to buy fast food – THESE ARE WAYS TO ACHIEVE YOUR GOAL!!
Change your life to achieve your goal. Don’t settle for anything less than the best. Be willing to invite change in order to achieve your goals.
Do you have balance in your life, or are there multiple areas that need change?
To me, balance means we don’t have worry in our lives. Of course, there are going to be situations where we worry, but not on a regular basis.
Being able to have a balance in all parts of our lives is achievable, and it is the effort that we put in that determines our results. This life was never meant for us to attain perfection. It was meant for us to strive to be the best that we can be.
Look at your life and write down the things that bring you happiness and the things that you worry about, or make you sad. Which list is longer? I always want my ‘happiness’ list to far exceed my ‘worry’ list.
Eliminating non-essentials, or toxic things in our life.
Non-essentials, or toxic things in our life may come in different forms.
-Maybe they are the people that we spend time with. Do they make me feel good, or that I can be the best person when I am around them?
-Do I have toxic behaviors that are affecting my life and those around me?
-Am I setting boundaries or limiting my own potential because of confidence issues, or low self-esteem?
Answer these questions honestly to yourself. You deserve to have the life that you want to live. There are going to be setbacks and things that seem to hold you back in life, just take each day as it comes.